Flying Ants!!!

The car park at work is crawling with these little buggers. spewing out from every crack and crevice in sight and shagging all over the skies.

Worst thing is, there is a nest right next to the smoking area - and there are millions of 'em pouring out - how am i supposed to enjoy a fag now - have to devise another skiving technique as well.

Horrid mites - i feel all itchy now.

Does this mean it will rain big time tonight?

 

Use your lighter and a can of deoderant and napalm the little shits - ants are vermin just like pigeons

 

Dom, good to see your on form Mate
WM childhood has sporadic session of 'Lasering them' with magnifying glasses later progressing to lighter fuel and BBQ brickettes on long boring hot sunday afternoon's

 

just for kicks

get a microwave outside, leave the microwave door open
put a big dollop of jam on the microwave platter and leave for 10-20 minutes
when microwave has a decent sized population of the annoying little pests, slam the door shut and turn to full power for 25seconds

sit back and watch the ammusing spectacle

if all goes to plan youl have a pile of wings in the bottom and a thin coating of powdered ant over the insides

also works a treat on wasps:MILD:

 

I don't wish to be accused of cruelty to ants, so i want tell you what i have done to them - not as exciting as doms proposal though.

We used to do this to each other at school to see who was the hardest and could hold out the longest whilst getting whiffs of burning flesh.

kids eh - pleasant creatures

 

He he he - magnifying glasses are cool

Yeah - got loads of stress at work today so zero tolerant I hate ants - nasty bitey spiteful little things that get everywhere...

Best idea - get two wasps in a see-through bag (like a food bag) - seal, stick in microwave and take bets on which one will pop first

Not sure I'd want to try that on a mammal such as a hamster or cat though - now that IS cruel.

Boiling water in an ant's nest is quite funny though...

 

Lighters work rather well on Crane flys (Daddy Long Legs) too from the rather vivid memories of my youth.

They make a rather high pitched squelling noise. Not sure if that's the fly itself being vocal or the blood boiling and turning into steam inside of their body and escaping as the lighter heats them up! :JOEL:

 

This little episode has ended now. My car alone has about 2 dozen dead ones stuck to the roof. What do they do - get laid and then die?

 

Its not the flying ants that are a problem at work, but those little black bugs I dont know the proper name for them but they are about 2-3mm long and we used to call them thunderbugs when we were kids.

Our work site is out in the country (well as far as country goes in East Berks) and there are thousands of the little buggers flying around, they seem to get everywhere.

Robbo

 

leave off those little black bugs,there a good source of income for on call electrcions,there small enough to get into some smoke detectors,blocking the ir beam and trigering the alarm

 

What's the best "antidote" for rats? I've got one about the size of a Yorkshire Terrier that keeps appearing in the garden every couple of days

 

Ants.......BAD....


I had an experiance out in the village in Thailand......We were clearing some of our land and the Big Fat Farang (urs truly!!) was heaving on this creeper which was dangling from a tree. Pulls hard on said creeper to dislodge it from the tree......about 10 million...ok...a couple of thousand of these big red bastard ants fell from the tree and landed all over me....I went ape shit.... See all the Thai people laugh at The Fat one dancing wildly....

They are big.....about 13mm long and you can see their pinpoint black eye's from 2m away so YOU KNOW they can see you....

BiiiiiGGGGG magnifying glass req'd or Gas blowtorch.... Yeah, Blowtorch....2 even!!!!

L8TER

 

That's the spirit trooper! Kill em all!

I've said it before, and i'll sa it again!

Anything with MOre than four legs is evil! Evil I tells ya!!!

 

out in texas there is a strain of ant called the fire ant. little bastards are everywhere. unfortunately for me a combination of texan summer heat, shorts and travis county's smoking laws caused an unfortunate fire ant / testicle incident which was hugely painful mainly because they're like bulldogs and 'lock on' untill they've killed whatever it is that's pi**ed them off i.e. my nuts. so there's me dancing arround origin's car park screaming my head off whilst my fellow smokers are helpless due to being immobilised with laughter. eventually i freed myself from the bitey little bastard but god it hurt.
unfortunately fire ants are immune to all known forms of man made biological and chemical warfare so they spread like wildfire.

this has given me a deep mistrust of ants so i usually go for the full on petrol / match or hot water solution.

did you know that putting ants in a microwave doesn;t work that well? microwaves have a beaming effect which is bounced around inside the microwave. this means that there are gaps that an ant can walth through and therefore remain unharmed or so new scientist says.

wasps are entirely pointless. they should be exterminated whenever possible. pandora was a bitch of the first order...bloody women.

cheers

julian

 

Woah - that sounds like a Withnail and I quote

Urm, a frying pan, small bits of meat laced with poison, give it an E tablet, a cat, deoderant can and lighter, hammer, frying pan (again), and a stun gun? Did I mention the frying pan?

Rats can be cute in the right place, but one the size of a small dog running around - you wanna worry about those sewer rats...

"Farang" means "westerner" in Thai doesn't it? I know "tingtong" means "crazy"

Julian - how did you get that fire ant off - with lighter bursts? THat must have hurt like a SOB...

 

dom,
after initially ripping the body off to stop it stinging - did i mention that? the little buggers not only grip on they sting as well! - i had to bite the bullet and jut rip the head out - hurt like a bastard it did. if you go to texas wear hermeticly sealed underwear!
take a look here:
http://bruinbooks.com/fireant.htm

cheers


julian

 

batfink,
get yourself a powerful air rifle and some telescopic sights. although i've killed mice with a telephone and a broom handle so basicly any heavy object that won't break before the rat's skull really say a bowling ball or a frying pan.
cheers


julian

 

Hehe, ants, best thing to do is fry them. We had a fair amount of 'em in the common room at school, think it was 94, and tested out most of the options... the little critters would run across the draining board after the spilt sugar and stuff from people making tea... and get fried by the flamethrower deodrant can (Lynx works best in my experience).

Harry, the crane fly killing? That wouldn't have been mostly in the snooker room in FE would it? That place used to fill up with the little blighters... some evenings you could go in there and there'd be corpses all over the carpet from where they'd fried themselves on the lights.

Rats, try some rat poison. It usually does work, but an air rifle is quite a good one to try. A friend of ours used it to particular effect to get rid of a couple that were in the animal feed bins on his farm... made quite a mess though!

 

My dad used to do that to starlings who nested in our street, because they crapped all over his car. Had to stop though, as the neighbours started complaining about his illegal bloodsports in the garden. Plus, he was not a particularly good shot, and i'm not sure if he caught a few roofing tiles and aerials on nearby houses in the process. He was a bit of a psycho my pa.......

 

are air rifles illegal or was it the sooting of wild life? if the latter then it's another example of the law being an ass i suppose - you can poison rats, ants and possibly your pets but you can't use an airgun to selectively blow their head off. i can understand complaints if your dad was blasting bits off peoples houses but surely incontinent birds are a menace to all.
a mate of mine used to go and shoot rabits with his air gun. made a lovely rabbit curry he did.
cheers

julian