Idiots guide to building an audiophile CD Player

1. Get your local metal engineering works to create a chasis and case for your CDP.

2. Get hold of the cheapest brand name transport as possible, usuauly a Philips.

3. Connect this to a DAC built from a £9.99 Maplin kit.

4. Connect the DAC to an output stage which uses top of the range capacitors and valves. Cut plenty of wholes in the top of the case so the valves can be seen glowing.

5. Buy a big toridial transformer and use this as the power supply, it dosn't matter how unsuitable it may be as long as it looks the part. Stick a sticker on it saying "Custom built in Cambridge, England for Idiot DIY Audiophile Ltd, Hampshire"

6. Use wire which also has cutton insultation over the plastic insulation, this is to make it look the part.

7. Take out a full page advert on the insert cover of What HIFI. Then in a couple of months time wait for the guareented 5 stars no matter how bad it sounds.

8. Ask £2000 iniitally for product but once orders come flooding in switch PCB producition to china but still assemble the unit in the UK to ensure the all important "made in England" sticker stays on it. 6 months later drop the price to £1000 claiming huge reductions although you will still make £500 profit on each unit sold.

9. Release a new version with the SE prefix on it. Spray some gold paint on the back and fit with Rus Andews power cords. Tweak resistor and capacitor values a little bit to make it sound different. Charge £500 for this new much improved version.

10. When asked why your £2000 CD player sounds like a Philips 723 claim that person must be deaf (Corrected it Pete as your CD player is the best in the world without doubt as it uses valves.

 

I can see it now. Philips 723, the CD player of choice for the Grim Reaper.