Kwik Fit........

.........Next time you want your car to be butchered alive send it to kwik fit. They do a marvellous job of f***ing it up completely, beyond your wildest imagination.

Rather let it die a slow death and catch the bus than let a sixteen year old loose on your wheels.

Cars are sh*t anyway. Keep an eye on the free ads.

 

Had a good experience then ?

Tell me about it; the heating more or less completely died in mine last week and I've a fair bit of travelling planned over Christmas/New Year. Unless I get it fixed sharpish (unlikely) I may be reduced to driving in gloves .

 

A guy goes into a kwik fit fitter outlet and forks out a reasonable sum of wedge in exchange for a newly fitted exhaust......

....to what degree would you like us to f**k it up enquires the teenager.....

....as little as you know how explains the punter....

....no problem chuckles the oily swine....

....i have an exhaust from a completely different car wich will do the job nicely....a bit of melting and hammering and it should work a treat....

...only thing is - we are so stupid sir, that we can't even do that properly.

....can you really notice it banging...on the rear axle?.....on the chassis?.....dragging on the f**king floor?

...why that's very peculiar...

...punter inserts the butchered exhaust up teenagers arse and demands a new one of the correct vintage from a mechanic....

...sorry sir we don't have any qualified mechanics here....

..however, if you would like us to f**k up your tyres, please walk this way.......

....no need son...in fact...if you would be so kind as to turn the ignition on whilst i place my mouth over the butchered tail pipe of this fine exhaust.....

....if i'm still kicking in a few mins, just shoot me.......that's of course if you can handle a gun.....

 

Cookiemonster, you have my sympathies. That is though I think the funniest post I've read all year :ffrc: . Nice work!

It looks like I may be giving a mechanic the chance to rip me off on Thursday or Friday .

 

Mine is weird... yesterday the discs were badly warped, and the car was being very peculiar under braking. Today it was fine.

As for repairs, mine goes either to main dealer, or to a reputable tyre place (protyre, or micheldever) when it needs tyres or wheel balancing. Yes, main dealers are expensive, but they tend to know how to **** it up properly, rather than an inexperienced, half-assed job.

 

I simply turn mine upside down making sure it's stable on handle bars and seat. Then a little bit of fiddling and the chains back on. Tyres, brakes, and such are normaly easily fixed like this too.

 

I think my dads N reg escort is well and truly past it. You cannot open the drivers door from the inside, you cannot open the passager door from the outside. The boot does not open.

The engine shudders like mad, there is rust all over the place, the rear heater does not work. The cat recently failed.

Oh the central locking has also packed up. The rocker gasket needed replacing as the car was leaking oil all the over the place.

However at least it starts first time.

My uncle as a 1999 W reg Rover 25 1.4 and his engine seized up two weeks ago.

 

my 12 year old car has just passed 160,000 miles, it cost me 4k to buy and in the near 2 years i've had it i've replaced:
4 tyres
2 sets of front brake pads
1 set of rear brake pads
1 set of rear discs (they replaced the ORIGIONAL ones!)
everything else from the radio to the a/c works just dandy. this averages out at about 300 quid a year - my previous car was brand new and it cost about that to get it serviced and nearly double that when it decided to blow out several engine sensors and start randomly stalling everywhere.
new cars? you can keep 'em i doubt i'll ever spend more than 5k on a car again.
cheers

julian

 

I think if you choose the right banger it can be off. I think the problem with my dads is in its an escort with an august registration. Basicaly I think it was rushed out of the factory so it never had the amount of rust protection it needed.

 

Rust protection and cars... MY dad's mid 70s Simca NEVER had underseal!!! The dumb prats never installed it, so it rusted from the bottom up in about 7 years!!!

He now drives a Vauxhall Astra Belmont, bought on 21/10/1989. It's been round the clock twice, and the engine is tip top. The only really BIG things it's needed are a new gearbox (why, when he drives like a granny is beyond me!), and a new rear door (a tractor crashed into it).

Mind you, on the day we bought it it was in showroom condition; this means it had:

• scratched paint on the wing
• broken front indicator
• broken trip meter - whole new dashboard installed
• paint chip on bonnet

Oh - and as with ALL Astras I've ever been in - the stock tape deck got slower and slower in the first year and then died in the second - Philips automotive soundsystems suck!