Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)








P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.



P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.


.

 

Sounds like the typical sarcastic reply I give to people when they ask somthing stupid about computers my reply is usualy somthing like "solution: go and do CLAIT at your local college"

Where to these transcripts come from though? Who leaks them and I assume if its genuine they have just picked the best ones.

 

lol

 

old but funny