pidgeons

has anyone else noticed that there seem to be a larger than usual number of these little feathered rat-bastards about? every time i go out i see loads of them walking in the road or flapping their diseased carcasses out of the way of my car. as repayment for me not splattering them i then wake up to a car covered in pidgeon shite... there should be laws or something.
cheers


julian

 

It's pigeons, and please use capitals. That is all.

 

Damn right Julian, I hate the little *****. I'd love to go through town with an air rifle one quiet morning and shoot every pigeon I seen. I also make sure to kick them if they are anywhere in vicinity of my boot.

What gets me, is why do some muppets feed these vermin? Would they feed rats with gregs bread if they were running around... I think not, so why feed these?

If theres one creature that should be extinct, its pigeons.

 

There were here before us
maybe they'll shoot you first

 

They already have bombed me on more than one occaision. I think its time to declare war on the vermin!

 

yeah, you always see some old dear with a bag of bread feeding the little *****...I'm always tempted to give them a good kicking, the pigeons, that is, not the old biddy...

 

I actually did manage to make contact with one with my boot once. I was out on the drink, and one got too close, so I swiped for it and got it full on. It felt heavier than I expected on my boot, and it made a hollow thud sound. It bounced along the ground like a football. Me and my mate thought it was hilarious. However, I still owe out at least another couple of kicks, since I'm still not even from being shat on 3 times!

 

No. You're thinking of wasps. Evil little black and yellow hooped bastards. God I hate them. Doesn't help that I get a really bad reaction if stung by one of them.

Pigeons can be a nightmare, but down here in Devon the seagulls are much more of a problem. Try eating anything on Exmouth sea front and you'll be surrounded by the bastards. I believe some councils do employ a policy of trying to cull the birds but it doesn't seem to be working. They should feed them bread laced with baking powder.

That said, did see one very chilled out pigeon on Bristol Temple Meads station coming back from the Dropkick Murphys, was quite happy just mellowing out on the platform paying no mind to everything going on around it. I reckon it was probably not far off death from old age... that or it was stoned.

 

I have to say, I dont like wasps either. Never been stung yet, but that still doesnt stop me from hating the little gits!! Especially that one that flew in my open car window last year while i was driving at some speed and tried to attack me and nearly caused me to crash

 

Correct . Wasps are definitely first in line for genocide IMO. I also get a seriously bad reaction if stung.

Bee's I can handle. I also get a bad reaction from their stings but they only sting if they feel their life is in danger as they die shortly afterwards anyway. Clearly the bee that once somehow got stuck between my eye and my glasses felt its life was in danger.....fortunately they eyelid rather than the eye itself took the hit. I had a tennis ball for an eye for a week

Wasps OTOH just sting out of pure sadistic pleasure :inferno:

Michael.

 

i'd also go along with waspicide as i'm another one who goes all baloonlike if stung. i caught a bee whilst playing cricket once - i was aiming for the ball, missed it and caught said bee instead. obviously the bee didn't reckon this much and decided to sink it's arse into the ball of my thumb rip itself away and then die leaving the sting, stuck in my hand pumping venom into me. being unknowledgable about these things muggins here grabs the protruding bit of bees arse and attempts to rip the sting out of his hand. unfortunately this squeezed the remaining contents of the bees venom sac straight into my muscle i had a hand like john merrick for a week. bees i can generally cope with despite this encounter they are polite enough to bugger off if you wave them away. wasps though are the charvs of the animal world, if you kill one, 10 more turn up to avenge their mate.

still hate pigeons though. i can hear them cooing now, little feathered ****ers.

cheers


julian

 

being a train driver i kill about a dozen of these a week. then again these tend to be wood pigeons and not, as such, an urban pest.
good job we are always on strike then
i thank you

 

Feed them calcium carbide :lol: :lol:

Regards

 

Try it when one flies into your crash helmet, stings on the temple and then carries on to crawl around inside and sting you in multiple places until you can stop, take off helmet, AND KILL THE LITTLE BA****D!

Mr Cheadle, only ever done that with seagull's, well what else was i meant to do with spare carbide after caving

 

..as a commuter on the Norwich line, please don't swerve to avoid them.....

 

a solution....

cheers


julian

 

What's wrong with W.A.S.P.? Cracking cheesy 80s rock!

Seriously though, I HATE wasps too - they go for my eyes as there's something in the drops I have to use with my contact lenses that the l'il mofos seem to like... Deodorant can/lighter time methinks - just like with daddy long legs's - they make a LOVELY squealing sound as their blood boils. I have to admit I haven't done this in a long time though - karma and all that!

That pigeon was cool - like Yoda styleee - totally chilled. Maybe it was high on diesel fumes from the Virmin Voyagers and HSTs

I killed a pigeon once; I threw a load of chips into the road (while it was very clear) down in Exmouth once; the greedy little sods went in hell for leather to get what they could. One particularly fat lazy scummy one took a bit too long to finish chowing down, and took flight slightly too late - nice splattage all over the front of a juggernaut! I felt guilty for ages afterwards - I didn't set out to murder the little gimp!

I also kicked a pigeon once - not hard, just a "oi, move" thing. Unfortunately this was right by the entrance to Superdrug, and the stupid sod flew INDOORS! It took the staff 20 minutes to get it back out (quite funny 'cos we'd just bought our lunch in there and so got a nice ringside view of the fun while eating our lunch!).

I love the bit in 24 Hour Party People with the bread and rat poison - I think pigeons should be wiped out. I'd not be surprised if they're immune to conventional weapons though - a bit like Keith Richards!

 

I like that !

 

there's a cat one as well. athough i wasn't too amused by that as i quite like cats - they kill pigeons for one thing.
cheers


julian

 

I'm afraid I hate cats as well.... being allergic to them being the main reason, but also, they are arrogant, ungrateful pets IMO. Unlike dogs that are stupid, but lovable