pidgeons

http://home.comcast.net/~rastamonsta/images/cat.mpeg

 

As a cat lover (can I say that?) that's you off my Xmas cards list

 

Why - what use is self-raising shit?

 

The bread is for them to eat; the baking powder fizzes up inside them, and since they can't burp, kaaaBOOOM!

It really works - never done it myself, but pigeons WILL explode in flight if you lace their bread with baking powder - nice!

 

Well, I should have put an in, but anyway it seems this is an urban myth, see http://www.enviroliteracy.org/asktheexpert.php/49.html for example. Sorry to debunk a good story - but hey - did you hear that speaker cables really are directional?

 

Hmm, sounds like the cue for a song - take it away, Mr. Lehrer...


Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.
I do, don't you? 'Course you do!
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes ev'ry Sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Ev'ry Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanhide.
The sun's shining bright,
Ev'rything seems all right,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

Lalaalaalalaladoodiedieedoodoodoo

We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon society
With our games.
They call it impiety,
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you're free,
Why don't you come with me,
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two,
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon.
It just takes a smidgin!
To poison a pigeon in the park.

 

Just spent 30 mins listening to one making a bloody racket somewhere outside the office window. Of course I couldn't locate the damn thing to scare it off!