Posh dinner party crap

I have to go to a dinner party being held in a posh hotel tonight for my cousins engagement party. It is a formal shirt and tie affair and I hate anything posh like that. It is also being held in one of the poshest parts of Chehsire and my elequate standards lie in a local pub preaching out the lytics to the Stone Roses's reserection.

There is a good gig on tonight as well which I wanted to go. Does anybody else hate posh things? When I go clubbing I wear my trainers, a Joy Division t-shirt and blue jeans.

I am dreading the entire evening, the most engaging conversation I will probably have all night is how many valves my cousin's boyfriends new car has.

All my cousins are bringing their mates as well so I won't nobody there. The worst thing is that all my family will be there so I will also get quite easily emberassed. I drank 8 pints of Strongbow last night to the point of having to leave the late night pub before being told to go home due to drunkeness. The idea was to get a huge hangover so I would be to ill for tonight, it didn't work and I am now feeling fine.

Is it too late to put my place on sale at Ebay I reckon dinner at a posh hotel in Cheshire must be worth a bit.

 

sounds to me like you need to go - tis a family do after all.

meeting ppl away from zerogain is a good thing

 

Just go you big nancy !

Besides, it might be full of fit birds .

 

I hope not, I find all that kind of thing really emberassing in front of my parents I am like a 10 year old kid in that repsect.

My plan is to not have any alchohol then I won't spill my drink and I won't have wondering eyes

I am considering being a complete pratt and taking a book with me to read

The other problem is this cousin is only 1 week older than me so everybody will be asking me if I have any plans of getting married etc. Then there is the music, I am not sure how much of Destany's Child and The Village People I can cope with.

Oh well I am supposed we all have to do things we don't want it is apart of life.

 

do yourself a favour - go and make an effort to enjoy yourself!!!

 

AT go, get pissed, eye up the fit burds, and say your getting married to whoever lets you shag them tonight, then deny it all in the morning and blame it on the booze, I reckon you'll have a great time.

 

Don't forget to 'do the elephant impression' as you leave..

 

Take along some decent tunes to get played at some point.... bribe the DJ to play some Joy Division or something. Better still, some proper party music like the Happy Mondays or all of Screamadelica!

 

I can see it now, I could request Love Will Tear Us Apart, it would go down so well considering its an engagement party that it will be guarenteed that I am never invited to a fimily do ever again.

I can then do my Shuan Ryder impressions so I get chucked out of the hotel with my constant F'ing and Sh*tting.

 

be the DJ !!!!!

 

I wish , that is going to happen one day though when I graduate me and my mate plan to move out to my area and then we are going to try and DJ in the local bars. It will be a blend of indie, elctronic and punk, kind of Kraftwerk to The Clash.

My sister is also dreading to tonight as well as she hates all the false small talk you have to make at these things.

I suppose I should try and stop moaning I will get grey hair.

 

Suck it in and stop moaning.

Meeting people at a social gathering is part of growing up and not pissing them off is something that a future employer would consider a most useful skill.

Remember at some social gatherings A Posh Hat & Fur coat = no knickers

 

I am don't mind business do's though because my parents aren't there.

During the short 10 days I worked on contract as a web developer I had to attend two functions. It was hard but most people were probably in the same boat.

I am hoping that my generation of cousins will speak to me and my sister so that will make it much easier.

I think the key is to not drink any alchohol then I am much less likely to spill my drink all over the bride to be

 

it aint a good engagment party unless you cop a feel of the bride to be,show the chief bridesmade the contents of your underware get the grooms mum stoned,and offer the best man outside for a fight,funnily enough i wasnt invited to the wedding

 

It wasn't a bad do in the end, I was mostly talking to my cousins and their mates so at least therer werepeople of my generation. The bride to be got very drunk and there was nearly a fight.

There were quite a few other incidents as well like a 40 year old nag trying to pull just about any of us males.

 

Good part then, although full blown fight would have made it, and did the nag stick her tongue down your throat, shoulda went there you woulda liked it

 

I doubt he knows what you're talking about. Virgin territory and all that

 

Well my missus falls into the 40 something category and boy does she know what buttons to press, still he'll find out one day.

 

Exactamente. Femme d'une certain age...

 

Yup french not good but I get the gist of it, leave the young women for the old men, who want an accesory, women in their prime would give them a heart attack, fact is if AT had spent the night with the "old hag" he would still be in shock and unable to be posting so soon after.