The greatest cricketing sledges of all time > >1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: > >When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the >wicket >with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" > >2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: > >As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had >been >waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you >spent >it eating," Cullinan retorted. > >3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken >farmer >Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so f***ing fat?" >Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I f*** your mother, she throws me >a >biscuit." > >4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: > >During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & >missed: "You >can't f**king bat." >Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we >make a >fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl." > >5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: > >During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A >few >balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please," Merv called out >as he >ran past the departing batsman. > >6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: > >During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to >Viv, >but continued to stare at him after deliveries. >"This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my >culture we just bowl." >Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the >batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k off." > >7. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga: > >And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which >was >picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called >for a >runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in Sydney: >"You >don't >get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!" > >8. James Ormond & Mark Waugh > >Ormand had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by >Mark >Waugh. > >MW: "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? >There's no >way you're good enough to play for England." > >JO: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family." > > >9. Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan > >McGrath to Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" > >Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." > >McGrath (losing it): "If you ever f**king mention my wife again, >I'll >f***ing rip your f***ing throat out!" > > >10. Mark Waugh & Adam Parore > >Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Parore) comes to the >crease >playing & missing the first ball. Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a >couple >years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless >now." > >Parore (turning around): "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you >were >going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married >her, you >dumb c*nt!" > > >11. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga > >Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan >batsman >Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the >batsman >out >Of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get >out of his >crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar >on a >good length. That should do it." > > >12. Ravi Shastri vs the Aussie 12th man > >Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single. This guy gets >the >ball >in and says, "If you leave the crease I'll break your f***ing head." > >Shastri: "If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be >the >f***ing 12th man." > > >13. Malcolm Marshall & David Boon > >Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed >a >couple of times. > >Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to >have >To bowl around the wicket and kill you?" > > >14. Fred Trueman & Raman Subba Row > >Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first >slip, >And right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. >At >the end >Of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I >should've >kept my legs together, Fred." > >"So should your mother," he replied.
