The Cat & Dog Diaries

The Dog and Cat Diaries.

The Dog
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

The Cat
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such
a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..

 

Those styles do look strangely familiar. I wonder where these resonances are coming from...any ideas Dom and Sideshow?

 

No idea???

But must confess I'm a cat person through and through (no ***** jokes please!!) - dogs do what they're told and are duty bound to be affectionate; if a cat's affectionate AFTER food you know they really dig you...

 

A dogs view of life 'They feed me, stroke me, make a fuss of me......They must be god'

A cats view of life 'They feed me, stroke me, make a fuss of me.......I must be god'

 

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

-- Ian

 

I made the mistake of letting our cat stay upstairs in the bedroom (rather, having free roam around the house), and now she wakes us up in the morning, orginally it was for food, but now she just does it...I think it must be because I stroke her when she's asleep!! but seriously, it's a pain...it happened this morning too, but my girlfriend had to go downstairs and lock the living room door..

 

This needs rephrasing...here we go...

"I made the mistake of letting our cat stay" that's all you need. End of story.

 

Here here!!!






"Dogz rule ok"

 

dogs are slobbery, noisy, farting, anoying atention seeking, high maintainance, pavement pooing, pains in the arse (hmmm sounds like a few of my ex's).

cats are clean, quiet, independant, low maintainance, cool animals.

how can there be any argument. there is only one sane choice. the cat is clearly superior as a pet.

cheers


julian

 

Absolutely correct. End of debate

We have two cats at home, a big white and fluffy Norwegian Forest Cat and a brown Burmese. They are the coolest cats I know

Michael.

 

I haven't got any pets, but if I did I reckon bats would be pretty good fun, provided they were house trained.

Dogs are utterly dim, no doubt about that.

-- Ian

 

Cats are aloof, garden destroying, wildlife killing, pains. Give me our two dogs any day

 

Cats, are far better than mutts, I want a tiger , always have done, a good friend of mine used to have about 10 of them (a part time wildlife centre near Morteon in the marsh), til some arse hole thought them might eat his DOG and got him closed down, beautiful, gracious, stealth like, fabulious killing and eating machines, love em a true evolution beast

 

Absolutely correct. End of debate

We have one dog at home, a big white and fluffy west highland terrier. She is the coolest dog I know

MO

 

Which is why they should be in the wild.............. i want one too

 

I'm fine about both species, but...

Correction - this is their lazy arsed owners who either can't be bothered to clean up after their animals or, worse still, allow them to roam free. Can't argue with the other points though , but I wouldn't give up my Springer Spaniel for the world.

...and to balance the argument

A cat is not a pet. It's simply a creature that co-habits with humans when the mood suits.

BTW - I'm totally with lordsummit on the "cats kill wildlife" thing. UK songbird populations would be much higher without the interference of moggies hunting for pleasure.

 

Oh my god, another springer owner. Does your's chase flies. All summer we spend in fear of the furniture, the bloody mutt has destroyed three sets of speakers, he has this paranoid urge that aliens live in them, and if he taps them in the right way they'll come out. Trouble is he's just clever enough to be confused. Now the Greyhound, she just don't care:MILD:

 

springer spaniels are they the ones with the ridiculous ears? this is what i mean.. you'd never find a cat over 1 year old behaving in this manner... too undignified. dogs are dumb.

cheers


julian

 

Yes. Our Springer does the "must protect the family" thing really well. Flies & spiders get mauled without damage to the furnishing and HiFi, and human visitors are left in no doubt that there's a dog on guard. He's brilliant with the baby too, sits at the foot of the pram or rocker if we have to leave the room for a moment.

This is Chester, he's 5 yrs old, and has a great character. BTW, he's got a ball in his mouth incase you were wondering.

 

Very cute. Our's carries a rather soggy furry hamburger. Caused me great pain about 2 months ago when he laid a trap on the stairs with it that any cat would have been proud of. A broken ankle and 2 weeks off work ensued.