Best way to injure a director?

One of our research directors has just been made 'redundant' at work....

....lucky therefore that he will have a tidy £300 000 severance package to tide him over.

Speaking to him earlier, he 'jokingly' said how he might have to go and work in a supermarket to make ends meet.

****ing twat.

On top of that, i've just taken a call from a woman asking if any of our directors play golf. I politely told her to piss off.

 

Paper cuts and lemon juice.

 

Whip with a slightly rusty length of barbed wire, then place in a mix of lemon juice, vinegar and salt.

 

A poke in the eye is my answer for MOst of lifes daily tasks.

 

Piss in the coffee pot .

What you also have to realise about his redundancy is all of the little details you never hear about. I was on my old company's "Staff Delegation" and we had to [in conjunction with the Unions] devise the redundancy packages.

He'll probably have his company car for a year or so, any gym or golf memberships, any bonuses payable within the next year etc. The list goes on. The packages for our Executives were actually produced by the Senior Management/Executives themselves , as we weren't allowed to be privvy to that information but being on the Staff Delegation you still unearthed many pieces of private information .

In Luxembourg you are actually taxed quite a bit on your redundancy package :bub:, whereas in the UK [AFAIK] you pay very little, if not any tax on your payout.


£300,000 !

The lucky Firkin's Bar Steward.

 

Ok, make that a poke in both eyes then!

 

In the UK, I believe the first £30-35k is tax free. Anything over that is taxed like normal income.

 

Luxembourg is the first 12,500 Euros.
With me only being a Senior Test/Business Analyst, £30-£35k tax-free would have been very tidy .

 

Lucky ****ing git! We were all made redundant last week thanks to the company going into receivership (another case of directors being utter wankers). We'd love to get redundancy packages, especially £300,000 ones, but no such luck here as most of us hadn't worked with the company for more than two years. So we'll have to wrangle with the DTI to get what wages we're owed and they have a lovely limit of £260 according to their little booklet.

As for revenge, if they keep the company car introduce it's fuel tank to the wonders of sugar. That should slow down his progress to the golf course!

 

Nightmare .
We had a few people here in a similar situation but you only had to be working for the company a year to qualify. They were good enough to include the time employees had been temps within the length of full-time service .

 

His company car is a Jaguar S TypeR. He can't even drive the thing properly.

This is the 3rd series of redundancies here in 2 years. There are 30 this time including 'le directeur'. About another 100 went in the previous two culls.

Its slowly going down the pan. The top dogs aren't worried as long as they can keep drawing a salary before the final pay day.

The great sages have obviously deliberated long and hard and drawn the conclusion that it is preferable for a research company to operate in a sort of inverted pyramid fashion. i.e the scientists are continually being flushed out of the door, while the cowboys upstairs line their pockets. Obviously the cutting of research programmes and the ousting of scientists provides for a comfortable long term future for such an outfit, and the abundance of directorship is necessary to administer such a prosperous venture.

Tossers

All salary hierarchies should be inverted across the globe. Put the cat amongst the pigeons.

 

It's stuff like this that could almost drive me to religion - at least then you could delude yourself that some sort of justice will be served to these people in the end. As it is, I use my girlfriends A140 to drive me to work.

Hey ho.

 

Injure his pride - key his car (Jaguar S TypeR).

Auric

 

Cookiemonster, that sounds quite frighteningly similar to the strucutre that my old company worked to. Where the incompetent benefited from large wage packets while us lowly research scientists were left to cope with the fallout from their bizzare decisions. In one truly 'unique' move the department I worked in consisted of myself and three team leaders, each of whose team consisted solely of me .

To be honest I'm glad I'm out of there, what I really miss is the people that I worked with in the labs.

Auric: What a simple and elegant piece of revenge, wish I'd suggested that

 

Not another research scientist on the forum Perhaps we should have our own room to discuss all things science!

Chemist, biologist?

Our company has just announced it is to close 3 sites around the world and has also massacred our pensions whilst at the same time giving $800 million back to the shareholders

 

Robbo: Molecular Biologist.

God it seems like nobody's working for a decent company. Maybe I should consider a different career path. Hmmm... wonder where I find a vacancy that covers surfing the web while drinking coffee and tweaking hifi .

 

I'm a chemist, so we have absolutely nothing in common then

my GF is a molecular biologist though and is heavily into DNA sequencing.

 

Sorry to hear about that. Your situation sounds the like the one I was in a few years ago when the company I'd only been working for for 6 months decided to call in the receivers. The company started out 2 years prior to the commencement of my employment, they were a small software house (about 20 employees at the time I joined), and only had one software package on the market which was doing OK but they were only just breaking even. A lot of R&D effort had gone into a new product they were about to launch at the time I joined, and they were on the look out for a venture capital deal to get the necessary funding to bring the software package to market. Well in the end it turned out that a lot of the real financial information about the state of the company's finances was being kept hidden from the vast majority of employees (possibly a cover up from the company's parent company in the US who are still in business to this day AFAIK). In the end the company was wound up owing lots of money to various parties. Now, what I find completely wrong about these types of scenarios is that the Inland Revenue/taxman gets priority over all other debters. Then, after all the relevant outstanding debts have been claimed by The Revenue, the company's other debters are given a shout of what's left, if anything, and then very finally the employees (again assuming there's anything in the pot that's been left over). If there's nothing left to liquidate, then the employees get bugger all ! Yes, the DTI can help but as has been pointed out there is an upper limit, and boy do they take a long time to pay out. I was made redundant from that company in November and didn't get the payout from the DTI until about March/April the following year - it was well short of the actual amount owed to me in wages by the company though. The limited status of the company meant that there wasn't really a lot that any of us ordinary folk could do, save for personally taking one of the company directors to court, but at what cost.

Oh, and on the keys across the MD's car, I really wish I had done that at another company I worked for where the entire of the department I was working in were made redundant due to a major client terminating their contract and our jobs being outsourced. The client terminated their contract on Wednesday, there was a hush-hush meeting on Thursday which non of us knew about until Friday morning, and then on that Friday morning we were all invited one by one to attend a private one-on-one meeting with our department manager in his office where we were invidually told of our dismissal/redundancy and instantly marched off the premises afterwards (collecting stuff from our desk as we went) before the next person came up before the firing squad. He (the MD) use to park his car in his own reserved parking space in the cark park almost right next to the front entrance. :inferno:

 

Hey, that's my job!

I'll have to let you know when a position becomes available. Tweaking hifi is not part of the job description, but you could always bring some in with you and do it anyway. Lots of ways to pass the day.

So does our MD - it must be in the job description for MD's. Some days it's his Masarati that he comes in. But most of the time he prefers to bring in either one of his brand new BMW's. :SLEEP: . Although he only seems to work 4 days a week at best.

He's also the only guy not to have a desk in his office Just three leather settee's and a laptop, with some airy fairy pot plants and duff artwork on the walls.

 

I have no comparison with a Molecular biologist but for others..

Try Government or Royal Mail..I took [or was persuaded??]
redundancy from IT networks, and I now get paid to:

a] Ride a bicycle

b] Maintain parks [ie pull crap out of the river, keep the
place tidy at weekends]

c] Work noon till 8pm in the Summer..[haven't tried it yet tho..]

I no longer have a PC to surf at work..BUT..no e-mail!!

I also have a sneaky feeling that fresh air is good for me.

cheers, [a happy bunny]

Graham C