Celebrity Insults

MO!

MO!

MOnkey`ead!
Joined
Jun 19, 2003
Messages
4,881
Reaction score
1
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/celebrity_insults/

A thread from B3TA.com

Whilst on a piss-up in the heavenly borough of Romford,
we were delighted to discover the radiant Martine McCutcheon ("sicknote" to her friends) was out with some friends in the same club as us. Unbeknownst to the rest of our group my friend approached her at the bar and started praising her singing and telling her how gorgeous she was. He then told her what big fans of hers all his friends were, and how shocked we'd all be if she came up to say hi and pretended to know him.

Well, she's a game girl Martine, because about half an hour later she popped over to our table, pointed at my mate, squealed, and started hugging him like a long lost friend. At this point he stood up and said "Look love, I've told you a thousand times, **** off and leave me alone before I call the police."

Her face was a picture, I can tell you.
Click to expand...
 
That's just cruel :( Whoever that bloke was (if indeed it's a true story) is a right tosser and Martine should have given him a kick in the nuts :mad:

Michael.
 
I thought it was quite funny! :confused:

Did you read the Stephen Hawkings one?
 
hey, if you live by the sword you can expect to die by it. - or something. some are quite nasty though - windows cd's are quite sharp you know....
cheers



julian
 
One of my fave celebrity put downs was when the acidic Joan Rivers was interviewing Joan Collins. On asking Miss Collins who out of her many lovers was the best, Miss Collins cooly replied; "Your Husband". The normally sharp wiitted Rivers was speechless.
 
Well, some celebs obviously deserve as good as they dish out, but what's nice old Martine Mc done to harm anyone? :rolleyes:

Mind you, it's what she hasn't done to me that I'd like to hold against her if I ever I had the chance! :p
 
Originally posted by Sid and Coke
One of my fave celebrity put downs was when the acidic Joan Rivers was interviewing Joan Collins. On asking Miss Collins who out of her many lovers was the best, Miss Collins cooly replied; "Your Husband". The normally sharp wiitted Rivers was speechless.
Click to expand...

Classic!
 
My favourite is one that Winston Churchill dished out which I'm sure everyone has heard. At a party a woman came up to him and said "You're drunk". He replied: "Yes, and you're ugly but I'll be sober in the morning" :)

Michael.
 
He he...

I LITERALLY bumped into Beth Winslet, the sour-faced, jealous sister of the gorgeous Kate once, in Reading.

I was staggering along the road with about 7 bags of shopping from Sainsburys, and my contact lens was playing up. So 1) no hands for fixing lens and 2) no way to hold my "symbol" cane (like a blind person's long cane but shorter) out - although it was on display in my hand with the least bags on it...

She comes careening out of the library, talking to a mate, and not looking where she's going, and of course, bang crash!

Me - "Oops - sorry!"
BW - "Oi - why don't you look where you're going? etc etc"
Me - "Why don't YOU?" Shows cane "You're the one who can see where you're going, but you didn't bother using your eyes. I can't use mine! Besides I said sorry..."
BW - "mumble mumble" (probably something like blind cabbage - certainly said so I couldn't hear it) "Don't you know who I am??"
Me - "Yep, vaguely - Beth something isn't it? I can think of people I'd rather bump into, like your sister for example. You're not all that you know."

I left here there, opening and closing her gob like a fish out of water. Snobby bint...

My ex-housemate used to go to acting classes with Kate Winslet, and another mate knows Beth; they're poles apart and Beth's bad news apparently, so I don't feel in the least bit guilty about making her look like a git!
 
Hmm - well, that's true, but then Beth's been on TV stuff so it runs in the family... :)

Yeah, I thought that was a bit tight on Martine MC as well - if I met her in a pub/club I'd be more interested in talking to her than making her look like a tool...
 
Originally posted by michaelab
My favourite is one that Winston Churchill dished out which I'm sure everyone has heard. At a party a woman came up to him and said "You're drunk". He replied: "Yes, and you're ugly but I'll be sober in the morning" :)

Michael.
Click to expand...

To Bessie Braddock, the formidable MP for Liverpool.

My favourite is one from Benjamin Disraeli, who, when confronted by a heckler at a public meeting shouting that he (Disraeli) was two-faced, smoothly replied, "Well, sir, that could never be said of you, otherwise you would never come wearing THAT one."

Or, as Groucho Marx was later to put it: "I never forget a face, but in your case I'm prepared to make an exception."
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Gore Vidal was at a party which Norman Mailer was attending. Gore Vidal had savaged one of Mailer's books in a review. Mailer came up and threw a glass of wine in Vidal's face. Vidal calmly took out his handkerchief, wiped his face and said
"Yet again words fail him."

Brilliant

Bob
 

Latest posts

Back
Top