Do you ever get times when you just think stuff it all?

Computer programming can be depressing, that's for sure.

 

AT when I left university it was a time of depression and I got turned down for the ****tiest jobs that you could imagine.

I was rejected for shop work, rejected as a trainee in a chicken factory!!!

Things arent as bad now (job wise) as they were then.

Do what I did, get a voluntary job working for a charity. You need to get yourself around people - and you will feel great for helping other people.

You will still be able to take time off for interviews and similar.

The worst thing you can do is sit at home.

Get yourself busy, get yourself active. Your enthusiasm about working even when unpaid and helping the community will make employers think the better of you.

It doesnt matter if the work is IT related at all.

Also, get a hobby that gets you around other people and outside. Being in the fresh air and having a good time will wash your blues away.

I love my mountain biking, but it doesnt matter what you do - from 5 a side football to mountaineering, get yourself out of your rut by exercise and socialising.

Only YOU can get yourself back on track.

Good luck mate

Chris

 

I wouldn't have a clue as to whether you're depressed or not, but it's unlikely! I'm also in the process of starting up my own business, and it's the most stressful thing that I think I've ever done (and that includes the usual house moving/new job/babies etc). I've also struggled with some bloody awful days when I wonder if I'm completely mad for even contemplating my project, sleepless nights etc, terrible money worries (no work/income for 7 weeks, mortgage, kids to feed). Today I got some potentially positive news regarding premises, which could be a big turning point for me, it's the first good news I've had as far as my business is concerned for about a month.

What I would do is echo what others have said - my bad days have always been improved by getting out of the house and striding around in the freezing cold air and clearing out my lungs, it's about a good a tonic as any. Get on your bike, find some hills to career down, make your lungs scream, feel alive.....

If you can't see an obvious way forward on your business at the moment, get a job til the new year and re-appraise, things might seem clearer after a break.

 

Hey la toilette, it does get any better! Im a partner in a million pound business and nothing gets easier, you go from signing £300 cheques on a regular basis to £20,000 cheque's on a regular basis!

 

Gary I have applied for some rather basic jobs but it I have got no where, the problem is for the basic jobs its a lot cheaper to pay 16 year olds and train them rather than a 23 year old who by law needs higher wages, is less likely to stay and still needs training.

I have applied for the Milliniuem(sp) Volunteer scheme today so hopefully that will get me out a bit. I want to do some youth work or somthing rather than somthing that involves computers though.

I like cyclling but with my co-ordination problems and the busy city roads its not ideal at all, if we had proper bike lanes like Amsterdam I would be on my bike all the time though .

With regards to the business I am setting up a lot of the times I am extremely enthusiastic about it, its just being British I don't shout about being happy, I just moan when I am not .

In the end I bought a cheap shelfing unit to but some of the stuff cluttering my bedroom on and that cheered me up a bit, just somthing simple like building a flatback without even glancing at the instructions.

 

Here's to having £20,000 in the bank to sign a cheque for!! I'll be happy if my business turns over £30k in it's first year - it's gonna be a small craft based sole trader affair. But, if things run smoothly, there's always expansion.....onwards and upwards.....!!!

 

Same here, I am aiming to pay myself £10k in the first year, with a turnover of about £25K. It will take a long time to develop but hopefully if it takes off I should be able to pay myself £20k in a year or twos time. Its not about the money though, you should never really setup a business purely for the money becuase it can take years before you make any if you ever do.

 

Excellent idea and one that I am positive would change your outlook. If your work is sitting in front of a computer then avoid that at all costs when you're not working. With the dark nights and cold weather you need to be careful not to become housebound and if you get hit by the flu too things start looking bleak.

I got similarly very down around 1991, and interestingly so did a few of my friends who were all the same sort of age (around 21 at the time). Most of them were not the type to become depressed, yet a combination of: similer life circumstances to the ones you've described (employment issues and loss of a loved one); smoking too much Mary Jane and/or drinking to much; nasty weather; colds / flu seemed to add up to some seriously (even perilously) depressed people.

You have to remember that life at various stages follows a pattern to some extent and I think you are hitting a familiar (to me anyway) stage in your life. You need to try and break out of your habits, not be too reflective and (dons halo) do something useful for people who are worse off like the old, the infirm or those from Birmingham.

 

All the sacrifces and hard work in the early years make for some serious happiness and sense of achievement in the later years. One bit of advice though - dont spend the tax you need to keep saved - almost everyone I know who set up their own business did that with the first year's tax money (so did I )

 

These difficult stages in peoples lives must be quite a common thing actually. After I graduated I applied for several dozen jobs in Geology (my degree subject), many of which I received no response whatsoever from at all, and ended up on the dole for about a year in a house full of musicians who also didn't work. It was strange and occasionally surreal, and I found it really hard at times, the lack of money, strange sleep patterns etc. I did some work for the British Trust for Conservation Volunteers - met some new people, got plenty of fresh air and learnt how to lay a hedge! Howzat!

Now I'm in the middle of another difficult transition..... ho hum, at the very least it's certainly interesting!

 

Thinking about and helping others can often help.

AT,
I wonder if you have thought about looking at some of the works done by the Salvation Army? I'm sure they could use an extra hand with the soup run or another helper over christmas when they look after the homeless.

I only mention this because
I) It will get you out of the house.
2) They won't judge your motive for helping.
3) They need the help.
4) You will be helping others and I expect after a short time you will feel a lot better about things and life in general.

 

thats a good idea - as it'll also make you realise that there are a lot of people a lot worse off than yourself... :MILD:

 

AT, you've had this advice loads of times. A constant stream of excuses is no good. You need to do something about it now.

 

... or tomorrow at least. Take the rest of the day off.

 

Err, I'd go and see the doctor as soon as you can personally; I've had reactive depression all my life (one of the ONLY things I know about my natural lineage ) and it's a real PITA; one minute you're fine, then something'll tip you over. It's always worth getting the doctor to see if they can do anything, although if he's anything like the banker I last saw about mine (back in 1996) he'd just say "it's the time of year".

Of course, it could also just be the cold weather and the darker nights, AT (S.A.D. syndrome?), but it's worth checking out.

If that all fails, get some psy-trance, some headphones, and play LOUD. Normally sorts me out!

 

Cash flow my boy, its the heart of any business, that stops and your dead, the bigger you go the faster the heart needs to beat. Get the business to work for you, not the other way round and try not to employ.

 

So AT, have things changed?

 

Don't employ? Surely it depends what the situation is! It might be better than paying a self employed person or business to do a job for you, as you keep the money within your own business. Do like Virgin and set up a company for whatever you need, then you always protect the downside by keeping everything within your own business! Need to fly somewhere? Set up an airline! lol

I hope you are not feeling so overwhelmed now AT.

 

For every Virgin theres millions of others though! If you come to a stage of employing you'll see what I mean ;0). Sometimes though you just have to do it, we have 17 on and thats enough for me. If you can make a decent liviing on your own or with a partner do it that way, trust me!

Hope you are ok AT.