Have a good one Matt :)
Cheers guys - I'm afraid I had one of the least pleasant Birthdays I can remember. My wife, me and the 3 and 1 year old travelled all the way to Cambridge for my wife's friend's wedding. We reached Cambridge an hour and a bit before the wedding but the sat nav insisted on taking us down a street with rising bollards that only let taxis through. Found another way around it and reached the (very nice) hotel. I struggled with all the luggage, leaving wifey and kids in the car. Get everything into the room - hang suit up. Go back for wife and kids. Get them into room - wife says "What's that guitar doing there?". So they put us in a room that someone was already in! Moved rooms and luggage. Then out to get the kids something to eat really quicky - nowhere suitable in sight so back to the hotel bar to order a quick bar snack. Whilst we're waiting I nip up to room to change into suit. Get into room... SHIT I left it hanging in the room that was occupied!! Back down, get wife to change herself while I wait with kids. She returns quickly, I go to reception who get me a card for the first room - I collect suit (no-one in "occupied" room thankfully) and go and get suit on (struggling with cufflinks against the clock), sweat dripping from my brow at this point. Leg it back downstairs, bring the boy (3) up to dress him, then wife does the same with 1 year old girl. It's <10 mins from start of wedding at this point. Throw a bit of food down then leg it out and around the corner to church. So, we are there on time just. But what have we rushed to? A bloody baptist wedding ceremony (we aren't even slightly religious) - brand new religious songs and modern takes on old classics - they so deperately want to appear cool. I also realised I find reverands in shirts and ties far more threatening than any old rector in a dog collar. It was like a piece of the US bible belt in the middle of Cambridge. Of course it went on and on and the kids were bored within 10 mins. Tempted though I was to shout out "THEY MIGHT NOT BE SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE" when the Rev asked if anyone knew of any reason why these two.....blah blah, I decided not to for a number of reasons. Neither bride nor groom have previously even kissed anyone else though (and have done no more than that with each other) so my fears may well have been justified. Anyway, that bunch of crap over with, it was a 1/2 mile trapse over to Kings College for some photos then back to the church hall for the reception. I/we must confess to slipping into a wine shop on the way back and sneaking into the hotel for 15 mins where I desperately downed a couple of glasses in the fear that such holy folk might not see fit to serve up wine/bubbly at the reception. The fear was fully justified - various juices and a slightly naughty "fruit punch" but only naughty in the name "punch" not because there was anything approaching alcohol in it. The champagne flutes on the table gave me some unjustified hope and were later filled with a poor attempt at natural lemode. The food would have caused complaints even at a Harvester but everyone apart from us were more than happy that the good lord had furnished their table with food and he was duly thanked before they tucked into a starter of a collection of beans, leaves and a few other morsels normally to be found in a rabbit's dinner. Half a pitta bread on the side was yet another attempt to be "with it" but failed almost as badly as the "trendy" clothes the majority of the guests were sporting. Two starving kids and two pissed off and knackered parents finally made it back to the hotel where I had to chase reception to come and put a cot up for the baby. Then it was a quick call to room service who fairly quickly dispatched a couple of luxury burger and fries and we all tucked in and asked the good lord why he hadn't told the bride and groom to have their reception at this hotel. I then drank the rest of the bottle of wine and managed an expensive can of Worthington from the mini bar. I then spent the night with a wriggling/complaining three year old who managed to steal most of the double bed from me. We had a really decent breakfast this morning however and the trip back (150 miles or so) went swiftly and without incident. We then got home and unpacked and.... BOLLOCKS - I left my suit hanging up in the hotel wardrobe! They have found it thought and will call me tomorrow to arrange to post it back to me. So, there we go - what a bleedin' birthday. On the up side, I did take Friday off and played golf and St Pierre and I bought myself a rather nice Ovation mandolin for my Birthday. Matt.
