It was Burns Night the other night, and with this in mind, I present a little piece obtained from a Scottish acquaintance, who gave it as part of the traditional "To the Immortal Memory" speech in Basel in 2003. It's an updated version of Burns's "Holy Willie's Prayer". Holy Willie was an enormous hypocrite; therefore, somehow it seems appropriate. O Thou, wha in the heavens dost dwell, Thou hast ordained, I know full well, Saddam Hussein will go to hell For all he's done. And I will help him there mysel' That should be fun! That Saddam guy just makes me mad! Some people think it's just a fad, But that fella tried to kill my dad Some time ago. And that must mean he's really bad - O Lord, I know! I bless and praise thy matchless might That everybody knows I'm right Cheney and Rumsfeld, every night Both tell me so - That I am righteous in Thy sight. I guess they know. Those Eurowimps who just appease! Spare me that Kraut called Schröder, please! Chirac would like to call a freeze I do not care. For my pal Tony's on his knees, With me in prayer. To stop has never crossed my mind Whatever the inspectors find If all they get should be some kind Of empty shell That proves the stuff with which it's lined Is hidden well. That North Korean guy called Kim He's got the bomb, that's pretty grim But though he goes out upon a limb My work to spoil Diplomacy will do for him He's got no oil. And so, with strong support from Thee, Amoco, Mobil and BP, The good ol' US Cavalry Will ride again! And if it ends in World War III? We'll win. Amen!
