tones
compulsive cantater
It was Burns Night the other night, and with this in mind, I present a little piece obtained from a Scottish acquaintance, who gave it as part of the traditional "To the Immortal Memory" speech in Basel in 2003. It's an updated version of Burns's "Holy Willie's Prayer". Holy Willie was an enormous hypocrite; therefore, somehow it seems appropriate.
O Thou, wha in the heavens dost dwell,
Thou hast ordained, I know full well,
Saddam Hussein will go to hell
For all he's done.
And I will help him there mysel'
That should be fun!
That Saddam guy just makes me mad!
Some people think it's just a fad,
But that fella tried to kill my dad
Some time ago.
And that must mean he's really bad -
O Lord, I know!
I bless and praise thy matchless might
That everybody knows I'm right
Cheney and Rumsfeld, every night
Both tell me so -
That I am righteous in Thy sight.
I guess they know.
Those Eurowimps who just appease!
Spare me that Kraut called Schröder, please!
Chirac would like to call a freeze
I do not care.
For my pal Tony's on his knees,
With me in prayer.
To stop has never crossed my mind
Whatever the inspectors find
If all they get should be some kind
Of empty shell
That proves the stuff with which it's lined
Is hidden well.
That North Korean guy called Kim
He's got the bomb, that's pretty grim
But though he goes out upon a limb
My work to spoil
Diplomacy will do for him
He's got no oil.
And so, with strong support from Thee,
Amoco, Mobil and BP,
The good ol' US Cavalry
Will ride again!
And if it ends in World War III?
We'll win. Amen!
O Thou, wha in the heavens dost dwell,
Thou hast ordained, I know full well,
Saddam Hussein will go to hell
For all he's done.
And I will help him there mysel'
That should be fun!
That Saddam guy just makes me mad!
Some people think it's just a fad,
But that fella tried to kill my dad
Some time ago.
And that must mean he's really bad -
O Lord, I know!
I bless and praise thy matchless might
That everybody knows I'm right
Cheney and Rumsfeld, every night
Both tell me so -
That I am righteous in Thy sight.
I guess they know.
Those Eurowimps who just appease!
Spare me that Kraut called Schröder, please!
Chirac would like to call a freeze
I do not care.
For my pal Tony's on his knees,
With me in prayer.
To stop has never crossed my mind
Whatever the inspectors find
If all they get should be some kind
Of empty shell
That proves the stuff with which it's lined
Is hidden well.
That North Korean guy called Kim
He's got the bomb, that's pretty grim
But though he goes out upon a limb
My work to spoil
Diplomacy will do for him
He's got no oil.
And so, with strong support from Thee,
Amoco, Mobil and BP,
The good ol' US Cavalry
Will ride again!
And if it ends in World War III?
We'll win. Amen!
