Your bottom ten worst artistes of all time

Ha Can't comment on classical - mebbe when I slow down a bit eh?

Mebbe a little off topic but it has always struck me that one of the less attractive side effects of CDs was the simple fact that you COULD put 70 odd minutes on one has meant that many artists feel they HAVE to. Just as 3 or 4 minutes is just right for a pop or rock single, and 40 or so minutes has always seemed just right for an album to me.

How many double albums back in the vinyl age were just a leetle bit tedious in parts? How often did you get the feeling that a soso double had a cracking single album hiding in there somewhere?

 

A cracking example of this would be The Clash Sadnista triple LP, being brutal there is probably a good LP somewhere in there.

Another would be the Manics, Know youe enema, 74 mins of which 35 - 40 was worth putting out.

The flip side of this though would be RHCP's Blood Sugar Sex Magic, 74 mins that you don't want to come to an end..

timbo

 

I think i will just end this thread by saying..................Timmy Mallet

 

Too obvious, and doesn't count as music.

 

Black Lace?

 

Well maybe, but they don't have a large body of work to choose from. If they had been more successful, they might have produced some decent stuff, you never know!

People like Genesis & Marillion have no such excuse, and they took themselves fairly seriously as musicians.

 

Genesis produced some decent stuff and filled stadiums over many years,so they dont count either

what about Bros?

 

I dont agree the numbers attending such stadia is an argument to prove musical quality. Otherwise "New Kids on the Block" would have to be taken more seriously.

"I owe you nothing. Nothing at all!"

 

How about Daniel O'Donnell ....

 

Witness Exhibit A - "Songs for the deaf" by Queens of the Stone Age - gets very tedious after about 35 minutes.

I know this has been done to death, but if the White Album was one disc it would be AMAZING rather than just excellent. If Use your illusion was a ONE PART album it would probably be the best rock album ever recorded...

Does this :chunder: answer your question?

 

I presume this makes him a prime candidate for the deinitive top ten then

 

I admire those who can appropriate and then creatively mutate a sound or an idea, and in doing so contribute something positive to all of us... Mississippi John Hurt, Blind Willie Johnson, Sun Ra, Moondog, Alice Coltrane, Fela Kuti, Lee Scratch Perry, Cedric Im Brooks, Studio One, The JB's, Gil Scott Heron, The Last Poets, DJ Kool Herc, Afrikaa Bambaataa & The Zulu Nation, Boogie Down Productions, Chuck-D, Chab Fadela, Ibrahim Ferrer, Ali Farke Toure, Jimi Hendrix (who first opened my ears), The Velvet Underground, The Stooges, Crass, Kraftwerk, Mantronix, Manuel Gottsching, Juan Atkins, Derrick May, Carl Craig, Kenny Dixon Jr, B12/Redcell, The Black Dog / Plaid, Reload/Global Communication/Jedi Knights, Stasis, Reagenz, Aphex, Autechre, Bola, Bitstream, Claro Intelecto, Basic Channel/Rhythm & Sound, Monolake, the Din label, Wolfgang Voight, Geir Jenssen and Murcof...

...and then there are those that merely imitate the music of others and whose business therefore is the reproduction of death :-
bands with 'interesting' hairstyles, fooled by the NME into thinking that they are the next evolutionary step (Coldplay, White Stripes, Kasabian, Arctic Monkeys, Green Day blah blah blah);
All lingering farts (Coldplay, Sting and especially U2);
All those rimmers who jumped on the Cool Brittannia bandwagon
Pink Floyd pre 1972 and post 1975;
Coldplay pre-birth to post-death;
Greedy morons who have destroyed Rap & Hip Hop (50 pence, Tupac, Death Row Records et al)
Those who have destroyed Detroit Techno (Hardcore You Know The Score - the score being that you are utter shite);
All the Autechre/Aphex wannabees;
Pretty boys like James Blunt and Coldplay;
Fake Reggae (UB40, Simply Red); fake Funk (Jamiroquai); fake Punk (Clash, Sex Pistols);
All those late 80's/early 90's upwardly mobile types (Sade, M-People etc...)
All those pretending to be downwardly mobile, then they marry Gwyneth Paltrow (Coldplay);
Prince, Madonna, - shut up!
Kenny G - put it down!
Roger Waters, Phil Collins - plenty more fish in the sea, so just get over it eh?
Crooners (in general)
American Heavy Metal bands (you ain't bad and you ain't loud);
British Heavy Metal bands (except Spinal Tap);
Anyone with 'Bruce' or 'Springsteen' in their name;
Anyone that has inherited genes from both a Human AND a poodle (Michael Bolton);
Any Human-Ostrich transgenic (Cher)
Any Human-Elephant seal transgenic (Meatloaf)
FatboyfookinSlim

 

Is there anyone you DO like?

 

Hilarious

June, I like your list but your are missing a few. Please PM me when you next update it

 

Anyone with a "Best Of" or "Greatest Hits" or "Farewell to" or "Remastered" in any of their album titles!!!!!

 

June, you need to add Burial, AM/PM, Convextion and Tim Hecker to your good list and put the Global Communication in the crap list

 

Burial most definitely!! ...freshest writer I've heard since Boards of Canada (when they were still good ie pre-Geogaddi).
Convextion/Io/ERP... ok his first 12" had a corker of a track on it but overall nothing new there whatsover (its all been done prior to Mr.Hanson and been done far better IMHO by messrs. Atkins, May and Craig amongst others)...
Hecker...ooh my ears, bones and speakers!!! Autechre like them though! They also like Merzbow...ooh my ears, bones and speakers!!!
...only ever heard AM/PM in brief so maybe that's one for me to check out (cheers JCL)
... yes G.Comms/Reload have had their occasional cheesy moments but their early works were an integral part of the Artificial Intelligence scene which took so much from Detroit, but which gave back in equal measure and added so much to the Detroit sound; their work as Jedi Knights single handedly paved the way for the re-emergence of UK and US electro. They will always stand in my affections as exemplars of true, off-the-wall British creativity.

 

Crap list...

1. Genesis
2. Madonna...so pissed that my wife is going to the show in NY on Sunday night. Traitor!!
3. Bryan Adams
4. U2...Post-Joshua Tree
5. Bruce Springsteen...what a pompous prick.
6. Diana Krall...worst audiophile tripe there is.
7. Kenny Loggins...if I hear that F@$#%# Christopher Robbins song every again I might snap.
8. Bon Jovi...same song. Different hair.
9. Abba...Sweden not only produces shitty cars and furniture but awful bands too.
10. R.E.M....stand in the place when you were...so that I can zero in my rifle on your head.

 

1. Boyzone - these t**ts need naming and shaming.
2.Westlife
3. Girls Aloud apart from my future wife Nicola
4. Shane thing from X factor
5. Leona Lewis
6. ***** Cat Dolls
7. Pink / Beyonce / Christina / Britney / Mariah - all the same shite.
8. Any hardcore crap played out of a Vauxhall Corsa with a blue light underneath, crammed full of chavs.
9. Robbie Williams
10. James Blunt
10.1. Katie Melua - my future wife.

Deffo Nob Jovi - I hate their poodle rock and posturing plank spanking, singing about workin on the docks, for his gullible fans with his fake rawk singing. Should be put on an Atol during a nuclear test (along with my neighbours who play The Beautiful South on repeat). The list above represents a colossal waste of the earths resources on no-talents. Ohhhh I forgot to add Blue. A top ten is just not enough.

 

SMEagol - I'll fight you for Nicola

Apart from that, spot on!