Stupid question about women...

I know that; it's just that some of them are less insane than others (ie, the one I'm "into").

Why can't life be easy, eh? Should just be content with being single I guess.

 

yeah, thats me - was always a case of yeah, I'd like you as a friend etc...

however, with me being in my 30's and meeting other women in their 30's its a total different ballgame - they love nice men, especially with with no strings / baggage etc....

 

Oh really? I'm 31 in June... Not seen any evidence yet, but there could be hope then - excellent

 

yeah, after having a quiet time in my 20's - I've made up for it in my 30s...could be where i live too...

 

Girls stop the crap about bad men winning etc woman don't want a sap for a boyfriend.

If you are a sap, i.e. a good listener on the first date, caring, loving, not interested in the footy etc all on the first date or before the first date then you are a SAP and she is not interested.

Surely you have grasped this?

Unless you are going after the weird women who won't let you out of their site etc. In which case being a SAP is a big plus,

 

If she was interested she would have let you know by now.

 

Exactly.

 

Being nice and caring is overrated, anyway. The cold brutality is that what counts first and foremost is biological attraction; how well would your genes mesh with hers (as determined by getting a whiff of your body odour). If you have the "right" genes, a woman will find all kinds of excuses to like you even if you are a total asshole.

Women also generally think about how well you would be able to look after her and any children that may come out of the relationship. That's a biological program and not a character fault in women.

One of the things we have to learn in life is that we have the mate we need, not the mate we want. So, Dom, if your friend keeps ending up with men who you think are not good for her, there must be a reason. Like women with an alcoholic parent who end up with an alcoholic partner because that's a situation they are familiar with and know how to handle, even though they hate it.

And move on from her, you are wasting your time, and your life.

 

Woohoo...Weardale here I come!

 

"And move on from her, you are wasting your time, and your life."

Rubbish. Don't let a woman beat you for ****'s sake. Time the shoe was on the other foot young man. Play her like a fish... tease her.... tell her how unique and wonderful she is then tell her you've met someone new. Next night go out and meet other women... chat, be friendly and honest, spread yourself around, play the odds - it's all experience and you need more of it. The more you meet the more you'll get. She should be only one of several options. It will help you put her in perspective. Join an on-Line dating agency - great fun. I met 'em, I ****ed several of 'em. I didn't take it too seriously. Some were lovely, some were fruitcakes - it's all experience. When she sees you are no longer tangled up in her knicker elastic.. she will come round to your point of view.

Get up off your knees Dom...you deserve more.

Darren

 

Darren is of course totally correct. I fell for a girl many years ago in a place I worked, totally and utterly smitten. I made a right **** of myself, got people to speak to her for me and all that, groan just thinking about it made me cringe.

In the end I just stopped, went cold turkey and for all them months she ignored me, played me and told me to stop, as soon as I moved on she was over me like a rash.

I saw her some years later and wondered of course what all the fuss was in my mind, I walked away confident she wanted me hahahahah.

 

If I only wanted a **** I'd pay for it; believe you me, I can't be arsed with the dating game anyway as it's too much hassle. You get what you pay for if you pay for it, as you end up paying and not neccessarily getting it on a date anyway. I *am* that mercenary about it I'm afraid.

Maybe.

Garyi and you are of course right; there lies the rub - I have *not* held out for this person ever - I'm always on the prowl. It's the confidence hit that being disabled has that causes me the issues (though I have my moments). Don't worry guys - if I get any opportunities these days I do my best, but usually kcuf up! D'oh!

I think I've got this sussed in my head now, so panic over. If we're here again 3 years down the line though, someone kick my ass!

One last thing though - if it REALLY only is genetic attraction, I'm stuffed. No-one would knowingly mate with a disabled person ever if this is the case, and that's patently not true, so there are exceptions to all rules Mind you, natural selection hasn't managed to remove the NH syndrome from the genepool just yet so there must be some strengths to it - he he

 

Dom you'll be fine, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

 

I'm not really It's just a REAL p.i.t.a having a (occasionally very) visible disability. I have my moments though. Let's see what the weekend brings - pee aye are tee why? 'Cos I gotta

 

dom its easy to become cynical about relationships, and it is a sure fire sign in my book that you need to go about getting one all the faster.

Whether its this particular girl or not doesn't really matter in the long run. There are thousands of girls out there who you could happily date.

Cheers
Chris

 

He he - this is true Don't worry - I've been single so long if I *really* was going to be bitter, twisted and cynical I would be. It's all an act really, honest.

Might have to check out Dating Direct - have done speed dating a couple of times but I'm just too random and intense for 3 minutes - they need time to suss out the "dominator" (well, if it worked for Sherman - just kidding!)

 

when i was younger and single i had quite a lot of fun meeting women through the small ads in the graniad - see the guide omn saturdays. nothing much really came of it but it was great to meet new people. it's close to free as well

 

Don't you worry, I will!!!

 

Dom its important to understand that regardless of your disability you are going through what so many men go through, this is all perfectly normal.

I know it probably is no help when you are awake at night smoking a cigarette and worrying, but its all normal.

 

He he - no worries Garyi; I NEVER let stuff like this keep me awake at night

Think I have the situation sussed finally. I certainly want this person in my life as a good friend (done) and even though I suspect I could quite easily keep up with her I'm pretty certain mates is the best option after all

Time to let it go and be content being single for once