Stupid question about women...

One way of finding out is to invite the potential love match around but also arrange for a female mate to arrive a bit later. I did this by accident and the female mate told me that it must be love because the potential love match became very territorial. This passed way over my head but to another female it was very obvious. I have now been married for 15 years to the territorial women.

The moral is that it takes a women to suss another one.

Rod
 
If your feelings are honest then you either miss out on someone who has a certain indescribable effect on you or you let them know how you feel. Depends on whether the former truly matters or not.

If you just want to get in her pants or you're ekidding yourself about your feelings then best to maintain the friendship, no?

I don't think there is a right or wrong way if you want to have something more than friendship. Some Women manipulate us whilst let us think we're the tough guy doing the running, some are looking for a sign and then work out how to eject current bloke, some need that pure emotional spark from you to make them realise how they feel about you, some will be shocked as it's the last thing on their mind and will run. It's all a mystery and adventure. If you do go for it be philosphical if it doesn't work, everything has its time and just move on. I would rather this than wonder what might have happened if I had only...
 
avanzato said:
So if you suspect it's going to 'land in deep water' why do you still want to do it?
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...because I've known her for a very long time and saw how she'd turned her life around last time. She's now just a tad jaded about the whole thing this time around, and I'm worried she's gonna totally fold.

avanzato said:
Has she talked to you about her bloke or are you trying to single handedly 'fix things' even if she doesn't want you to?
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She let me in on the situation almost as soon as it blew up, a few weeks back. Almost since day 1 of knowing her we've had a very trusting and open verbal relationship. She rang me up last night to let me in a bit more on the current state of play re bloke and it's a big mess.

Either way, I think I've sussed this one out in my mind.

Garyi - would you believe it's the SAME woman that you gave me advice on in 2003? Yep. Afraid so. Sounds totally sad but you'd realise why she has this effect on me (and others) if you met her a couple of times. :)

I can tell you this though, the weird thing is I've never actually consciously considered "getting into her pants" per se. It'd probably be a totally amazing experience, but (yeah, OK, so it's twee) I'm more sold on her mental and spiritual sides - there's definitely chemistry there.

This thing ALWAYS goes in cycles though; I think I've got myself sorted again now. Until the next time! Suspect I'd only ever be seen as the "provider" anyway if I'm really brutally honest, so I guess the hunt goes on.

I could ring her bloke's scrawny insensitive neck though - if he's reached the age he is and doesn't feel he's "played the field" who does he want to be? Gene Simmons??? Tosser.
 
domfjbrown said:
I can tell you this though, the weird thing is I've never actually consciously considered "getting into her pants" per se.
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Are you sure you're not gay?
 
Blinking hell - here we go again...

Mind you, if I was, I'd not be surprised. My ex was grim!

Seriously, can't a man actually "get" a woman spiritually, mentally and emotionally first, without the other? I mean, am I the only bloke on the planet who thinks with his large head, rather than the smaller one? Must be where I've gone wrong then.

I blame that cycling accident when I was 11... Wish I'd gone over the handlebars, but no, I had to land on the crossbar on my nuts... :(
 
''Seriously, can't a man actually "get" a woman spiritually, mentally and emotionally first, without the other?''

only after you've married her
 
domfjbrown said:
Suspect I'd only ever be seen as the "provider" anyway if I'm really brutally honest
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If you believe those Womens Mag surveys isn't that exactly what woman say they want?
 
domfjbrown said:
Seriously, can't a man actually "get" a woman spiritually, mentally and emotionally first, without the other?
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In my experience, they generally go hand-in-hand. I can't imagine seeing an attractive woman *without* thinking of the sexual aspect, though I can certainly put that to the back of my mind if said person is out of bounds for whatever reason.
 
avanzato said:
If you believe those Womens Mag surveys isn't that exactly what woman say they want?
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If you believe those womens' mag surveys you'll believe anything.
 
Seriously, can't a man actually "get" a woman spiritually, mentally and emotionally first, without the other? I mean, am I the only bloke on the planet who thinks with his large head, rather than the smaller one? Must be where I've gone wrong then.
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I think you are right but then what do I know? I'm old'ish;)
 
Joe said:
I can't imagine seeing an attractive woman *without* thinking of the sexual aspect, though I can certainly put that to the back of my mind if said person is out of bounds for whatever reason.
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Well, that is of course different! Just seeing somone walking down the street, of course I go "phwoar" if they're attractive ;) You don't know the other sides for a few weeks/months anyhoo.

However, in this case you also make a good point; when I first met her she WAS out of bounds in my mind, as she was then a colleague. I don't take a poop on my own doormat if you get my drift :)

DO all women want a provider? I guess so... ...but then again many women who secure that then go on to find a bit of oomph somewhere else!

Just wish it was like in the good old 8-12y/o days when none of this wimmin' stuff mattered and days were long - he he.
 
Tread careful mate. Whats written here clearly only represents the smallest possible part of this situation. Reminds me a little of a situation i found myself in some years back. Basically she only wanted to be friends (well thats what she said, her actions however very much didnt), and in the end i had to end our friendship as it wasnt good for me. Im certainly not suggesting that!, -all id say to you is you obviously care about her, but make sure to look out for yourself as well.
 
Cheers Hifikrazy - don't worry - am looking out for me too. If the relationship was ever in that situation it was waaay back in 2002.

Isn't it weird how women'll often say one thing and mean totally another, knowing that it skull****s blokes? This one's not vindictive about things like that though :)
 
Dom, you are not gay, you may have thought you might be once in a while, but you ain't trust me.

What you are is infatuated with a girl who knows it, plays you for it but is not interested.

You don't believe me right now, but you are a lot like I was when I was 20, sensitive, caring and desperate to get his end away but to shy to do it. The result being you go for your friends who you know you in your heart you don't stand a chance with, but they are the safe option.

You will be OK, you'll sort yourself out. But this girl is not the one for you. Move on, preferably to pastures new entirely. As long as you are burning this pointless flame you won't be going anywhere.
 
Dom, pick up the bl00dy phone and ring her and get it over and done with so we can all move on to the next subject.
Women would like someone is is caring, thoughful, kind, repectful, someone they can trust and rely on, Dom you can be all of those things if you stop doubting yourself and just get on with it, its all te What-if's in your head that will eventually drive you mad.
 
Women initially do not want any of them things, you watched to many films.

After 3+ years, she is not interested. I said it then (probably) and I have said it now.

Mark my words, as my grandad used to say. Move on Dom, move on.
 
I'm in two minds here - I think Garyi AND Lhatkins have *parts* of this right, but parts of it wrong also.

One thing I can definitely state with 100% certainty though is that this woman is DEFINITELY clever enough to be that manipulative, and of course, is female, so DEFINITELY has the ability to be (in my experience!), but... I don't see this in this relationship.

Believe me though, I've been in that situation with someone before who I know only half as well (my first crush at school - awwww) and I finally sussed that one and dropped her like a hot rock. If I had the suspicions I had with her with this current one the same exact thing would happen, as I have a low tolerence for being messed around like that. I really don't see this heppening here, as, for one thing, it's not like this one's always "on the blag" for favours etc.

Guess time will tell... Don't worry, it's not like I've held out for this one and stopped looking around. It's just I've not bumped into anyone else yet I'd be interested in, being not really interested in one night song and dancers etc :)

EDIT: Garyi - I think you did INDEED say it then! Talk about potentially stupid eh? (ie ME :))
 
lhatkins said:
Women would like someone is is caring, thoughful, kind, repectful, someone they can trust and rely on,
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Unfortunately all those blokes have boyfriends already!
 
Joe said:
Unfortunately all those blokes have boyfriends already!
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...or get constantly passed over by females who are heading for the "typical blokes" so they have something to rant about with their female mates...

Nice guys always come last.
 
domfjbrown said:
...or get constantly passed over by females who are heading for the "typical blokes" so they have something to rant about with their female mates...

Nice guys always come last.
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All women are, in some way or another, insane. Grasp this simple point and life will be less of a bother all round.
 

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