Women

I have three at home, with whom I have had dealings for 28, 23 and 19 years respectively. They're fine, provided I do what they want (I always have the last word, even if it's , "Yes, dear.") The two younger ones now have the ability to put a wealth of world-weary meaning into "DAAAAAAAD!"

And if I had my time over again, I'd do it exactly the same way.
 
To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynaecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organiser

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly

45. love shopping

46. be honest

47. be very rich

48. not stress her out

49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:

* birthdays

* anniversaries

* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Shag him

2. Don't F*ck with his Hi Fi

3. Leave him in peace
 
Mart said:
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Shag him

2. Don't F*ck with his Hi Fi

3. Leave him in peace
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You're forgetting cook, clean, and give other "benefits" in addition to sh*gging...

OK OK - only kidding, but seriously, if women want equality, they should be more open to criticism etc themselves. Cue sound of can of worms being opened.

BTW - I've got fairly good reasons for my issues re women... As mates, no problem, but I never ever trust them unless they've really earnt it.
 
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domfjbrown said:
OK OK - only kidding, but seriously, if women want equality, they should be more open to criticism etc themselves. Cue sound of can of worms being opened.
Click to expand...

S'OK; I don't think there's any women round here to argue the point.

Though reading some comments in the 'audio' theads, I'm beginning to wonder if women have the monopoly on insanity.
 
T-bone Sanchez said:
Between 18 and 21 are the golden years, dam good fun really
Click to expand...

Being between an 18 year old and a 21 year old certainly sounds like damn good fun to me!
 
Seriously though, the book I metioned earlier covers all this and is funny. If you get it on audiobook you can just play it on the hifi. It goes into the differencies between the sexes beyond the obvious and explains why we like our toys like hifi, cars and playstations and they're none plussed.

It can be used as amunition or a peace manual.
 
Been seeing an 18 year old for two MOnths now :eek:

She's 11 years younger than my ex.

Too early for the bullshit, but she is indeed insane. But MOstly in the amusing way so far...
 
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You smooth mover, Mo!

BTW - I made a drunken bet on Monday that I'm GONNA regret. I'm sick of my mates taking the pee out of my (lack of) sex life (I don't believe in love), so I bet them I'd pull someone that'd amaze them. If I don't, I'm gonna have to run round Heavitree naked - in December. Sod THAT! So it looks like I'm on a mission...
 
My g/f is 14 years my junior and a right pain in the arce!

Dom, start toning up! The toned body will help you pull, but if it doesn't you'll be less embarassed on your run not to mention if you are fitter your run will be quicker and easier :)
 
An acquaintance of mine swears by the site fastseduction.com. I had a quick look the other day...theres some pretty awful techniques recommended on there....quite good for a laugh though...although he takes it quite seriously.
Christ...just looked at those books above...anyone know anyones who's ever used them!?
 
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They must be mad to suck those horrible dicks :eek:

best chatup line : fancy a shag? in fact new thread....

my gf is mad,

she is paranoid about getting clean, bath at bloody 11pm, takes forever, runs the bath about 3 times whilst she is in it, then comes in the bedroom, effin lights going on and off, hairdryer, poor me is trying to sleep as my positronic network goes off at 11pm,

tv goes on, changing all the channels, can't sit still for a minute.doesn't want to watch what I watch, little sex :( I could go on and on....

walks the legs off me, expects me to do everything, then she's not happy if it goes wrong, I don't know why I stick with her.... :(

Is this normal for them?
 
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Lt Cdr Data said:
best chatup line : fancy a shag?
Click to expand...

I knew a guy (well, ex-colleague) who used to do that, not sure how success he had, but even if he got one shag and 50 slaps accross the mush then I guess he'd be happy
 
Lt Cdr Data said:
tv goes on, changing all the channels, can't sit still for a minute.doesn't want to watch what I watch, little sex :( I could go on and on....
walks the legs off me, expects me to do everything, then she's not happy if it goes wrong, I don't know why I stick with her.... :(

Is this normal for them?
Click to expand...

Its quite normal, so don't accept it ;) I've had a belly full of ordinary and normal :JPS:

The only chance I got to listen was after she went to bed, but sets her alarm to wake her (me) up 2 hours before I need to get (makes me tired) up but only gets up 30-40 mins before me - she doesn't live here now!
 

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