Your bottom ten worst artistes of all time

Anyone who covers another artist is displaying a lack of talent beyond comprehension I have yet to hear a cover that I like.

Goodness me, J-Burg. No offence, but I can think of only two reasons why anyone would say this:

1. You only watch MTV and listen to mainstream radio; the cover songs you are referring to are things like "Stairway to Heaven" with a disco beat and hand-claps.

2. You don't read the credits in the liner notes of your CDs/LPs.

3. You don't understand what makes a song work or not, and by definition "whoever wrote it does it best" for you.

Whoops, three reasons.

 

The Beatles were great, so there. They're sui generis. The greatest pop group ever, by a long margin. Anyone who thinks otherwise is clearly insane.

I also really like Slade, even now. Slade Alive is a classic album. They, along with the Faces, made living in the UK pre-punk a bearable experience.

And as for timbo listing The Fall, and Dom listing Captain Beefheart, all I can say is, I challenge both of you to a duel.

-- Ian

PS. Did I mention that I don't like Pink Floyd, btw?

 

Yes. You are a sick, wrong fool.

Make that a truel.

 

Totally agree... And I'm sure that that statement applies to quite a few people I've met, applying not only to taste in music, but also hi-fi, PC's, etc. I'm sure there is some kind of willful intent in some people to purposefully only like the things which the majority hate.

Me too!

Anyway, I haven't heard any Queen since watching a couple of tracks from the Live At Wembley DVD in the Canton room last Saturday at the Bristol show, so which of their albums shall I play tonight then..?

 

hmm. Sums rawk and heavy metal up nicely.

 

I can agree with a lot that has been said here, Pink Floyd and Queen (especially that embarrasing poodle-haired twat of a guitarist Brian May, may he be ridiculed forever).

However a lot of nonsense is being spouted here as well...

Dom, don't worry about the avant-garde/free-jazz thing. One day you'll have a glorious moment and see the light, I promise you.

Joolsburger, free-music is not shite, but because you list pop-music and cover-versions as other 'hates' I don't think you'll ever see the light as you've probably travelled too far up the hairy trad-rock arse. (I bet you really hated the scissor sisters track didn't you)

I'll have a quick stab at 10

1. Phil Collins

2. Elton John

3. Luther Vandross

4. Dido

5. Simply Red

6. Wet wet wet

7. Kenny G

8. Richard Clayderman

9. UB40

10. Mike Oldfield

All of the above are guilty of releasing music that is completely devoid of excitement and threfore stand for everything music shouldn't be.

 

Are you sure these count as music? I thought they were classified as WMDs by the Pentagon.

 

If you can ever change my opinion on that Captain Beefheart album (NOTE - I've ONLY heard TMR and so I'm only commenting on that album - it was shockingly bad IMHO - even one of my (far) more way out mates hated it!). Maybe I was in the wrong mood at the time - I will definitely give it another go one day.

He he he - well, I doubt that'll happen in this life. Most of it is tuneless noise - a bit like 13 year old girls' "pop music". However, if I ever do get into it, you can watch me eat a hat.

Oh - and what the HELL are No Doubt doing covering Talk Talk? What a bunch of ARSE that track is - another cover that ruins a classic.

 

Right, outside now! Choose your weapon (guns, knives, or sarcasm).

TMR is, like, so a masterpiece, dude. It is exceedingly complex, however, doesn't have the 4/4 "mommy heartbeat" (as Beefheart described it) and is defiantly its own thing. Listen to it at least a dozen times, and I mean really listen.

If you don't like it after that, fair enough, I won't kill you. Might give you a slap though.

Edited to add: Dom, trust me, get Beefheart's Clear Spot LP, crank it up, and play "Big Eyed Beans From Venus". It's the best place to start with Beefheart, and it will blow your mind. Nobody should live without doing this at least once.

-- Ian

 

Ian

I used to like The Fall a long time ago, losing track of them around Code Selfish. if anything I think it's more that I particularly dislike Mark E Smith and a reaction to some mates who still reckon they're the best band ever etc etc.

Guess that makes it even worse, I've fallen out with The Fall

timbo

 

timbo, I always buy Fall albums, just because they're there, although in recent years I hardly bothered to listen to them. The new one (Country on the Click) really is a return to form, however, and the new band are really excellent. I saw them live a few weeks ago for the first time in 20 years and they were terrific.

I suppose M.E.S. is an acquired taste. I really like him, although I can see why plenty of people don't. He's an opinionated bugger, for sure, prone to outrageous exaggeration and bile, but I approve of that.

-- Ian

 

My Top Ten Of Utter Tripe:

1 – Shania Twain. She Don't Impress Me Much.

2 – Leanne Rimes. Oh Please Shut Up.

3 – Robbie Williams. Talentless Smirking Git.

4 – Oasis. We Got Your Money, So Go F****Yourself.

5 – Eternal. Please No More Of Your Pap.

6 – Eva Cassidy. At Least She Won't Be Making Any More Music.

7 – Eagles. Hurry Up And Freeze Over.

8 – The Jackson's, All Of 'Em. Complete Tits.

9 – Galaxy FM. Get Off The Airwaves.

10 – James (I Cannot Sing Without Lots Of Backing Singers To Drowned Out The Fact I Cannot Sing) Taylor.

Lots More, But 10 Is The Limit.

 

There is plenty more to Capt. Beefheart than TMR. He even done some pretty AOR-ish music on 'Unconditionally Guaranteed'. And the song 'Observatory Crest' is just 'shimmeringly' lovely (short clip at http://www.obcrest.co.nz/bands.htm - see media player on page). Really, if you only know TMR, you'll be suprised.

Later trio of albums (Ice Cream for Crow, Doc at the Radar Station and Shiny Beast Bat Chain Puller) are also excellent. Not as difficult or weird as TMR.

 

1. Shania Twain
2. Bryan Adams
3. Phil Collins
4. Eric Clapton (he's been shite since Cream)
5. John Lennon's solo career
6. boyslifestepszonealoud or whatever they're called this week.
7. Michael Jackson
8. Oasis
9. Radiohead (post OK Computer)
10. Starsailor

There will be no encore.... if we're really lucky!

 

Damned right. Rest of the album isn't up to much IMO, but that's one great song.

Seconded. Wonderful records.

-- Ian

 

Joolsburger, free-music is not shite, but because you list pop-music and cover-versions as other 'hates' I don't think you'll ever see the light as you've probably travelled too far up the hairy trad-rock arse. (I bet you really hated the scissor sisters track didn't you)

Yes it is shite but that's just my opinion, obviously these are generalisations for the purpose of this thread! Perhaps I should change my comment to the free music I have heard is shite. educate me why don't you I'm open minded when it comes to tunes.

I do not listen to rock that often really, sorry! As for the Scissor Sisters I will simply say who are they, I've never knowingly heard it, my life's to short to listen to pop or whatever it is.

Designed to be Pop music is fairly pants IMHO and I'll give you my reasons. Good music that becomes popular through it's very goodness is fine, music engineered to appeal to the lowest common denominator and sell in numbers (see Robbie, Coldplay, Dido, Madonna etc IE POP MUSIC) is generally bereft of either talent or longevity.
We have a culture that rewards the herd mentality and this desire to like the same things as everyone else is actively encouraged by record companies and virtually all producers of everything you can buy.

As for cover versions I am afraid to say that, yes, I do regard almost all covers as theft pure and simple. For better or worse I feel that the original is the song and that's that. I am well aware there are holes in my reasoning but having said that I also know that easier to cover an existing record than write your own, I have no doubt exceptions exist but perhaps someone could explain "Relight my fire" by Take That was it?

One final comment regarding this quote.

"You only watch MTV and listen to mainstream radio; the cover songs you are referring to are things like "Stairway to Heaven" with a disco beat and hand-claps"

You have offended me sir and I demand satisfaction how dare you accuse me of such activity.

 

There are cover versions and then there are cover versions. Since classical music and a lot of jazz is as much about different interpretations of the same music as writing new music I don't see why pop/rock should be the exception.

When new interpretations bring something fresh and original to the song then IMO they're as valid as a new song. Take the recent Gary Jules cover of "Mad World" for example - a most excellent cover version IMO and maybe even better than the original.

OTOH Take That doing the BeeGee's "How deep is your Love" or Mariah Carey doing Nilsson's "Without You" is just crass commercialism with virtually zero new interpretation.

Michael.

 

Have to disagree on this one. Mike Oldfield is god. All the Oldfields are talented musicians. 5 Miles Out and Discovery are 2 of the finest albums ever. Terry Oldfield's 'Out of the Depths' is magical also....

 

Finally a music thread that works!!!

 

I disagree here also. She is unique. Tracks like Venus as a boy etc are magical emotional pieces of electronica.