Originally posted by The Devil
The Smiths. All that whining and moaning from Morrissey. For pity's sake, give it a rest! Oh, you have. All the pretentious knobs at university liked them, though.
"But sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled
making christmas cards with the metally illuuuuugh"
"So I brrrroke into the palace
with a spongue and a rrrrusty spanner
she said 'I know you and you cannot sing'
I said 'That's nothing - you should here me play peeyano'"
I like the Smiths personally - and Morrissey - simply because he can sing one word and a C90 still runs out of tape before he finishes...
"I--------------m so so----------ry
I-i-i-i----i-i I'm s-h-h-h-ho-orrry"
etc etc
I'm going against the grain here for my first of ten...
1) I LOATHE classical - almost all of it bores the arse off of me. Even stuff like the obvious things like Beethoven (Beef Oven would be about right) where it starts off all interesting sounding, then after about 1 minute descends into mind numbing crushing boredom. Why can't all classical be like the pre-historic "progressive trance-ess" of Grieg's "In the hall of the mountain king"? About the only classical I can stomach all the way through is Elgar's Cello Concerto (it's pure class!) or maybe The four seasons, though that's probably because everyone HAS to like that 'cos the blooming thing is everywhere! I'll hear the odd bit of classical I like, but I'm not going to pay even Naxos prices just to get one little portion of a movement that I like.
:chunder:
2) Captain Beefheart. "Trout mask replica" is the sound of someone beating a cat to death while a person has an epileptic fit on the drumkit. Shite. No-one will ever be able to get me to like this crap.
3) Avante-garde/freeform jazz - see 2) Yuk.
4) Kylie. She's always been crap, and I don't rate her tits or bum either - even the videos put me off!
5) Boy/girl bands - though Girls Aloud and Bond get by by being fit.
6) S Club 7 - though I'm torn badly on "Don't stop moving"!!!
7) Snoop Doggy Dogg/any other rapper who thinks they're good when they're not. Ice T gets around that through the hilarity of the last track on The Iceberg - having someone's head drilled in is cool...
8) Peter f***in' Andre - Moff never got it so right when he went off on one about torturing Andre with "a metal coat hanger down the japseye, really hurtin' the f***er, followed by a short sharp dose of electrity to the testicles" etc etc. Faggot puff who's muscles make up for a lack of member (my cousin's mate's had him and it's tiny - he's definitely overcompensating!).
9) Radiohead (again) - I was one of the people who had taste and saw Super Furries instead at Glastonbury; 90000 people CAN be wrong! (I automatically exclude my mate Loveday from this, since she'd not heard much of their stuff, and "didn't realise they were so dark". Errm, been living on the moon mate!?
)
10) Elvis. Yep. He sucks. A couple of GREAT tunes in the early days, but in the end all he was was some fat rich munta who died while takin' a dump.
11) - yep, these crap bands I hate go Spinal Tap - because I forgot to mention....
BLOODY HIFI SHOW DEMO MUSIC - ALL of it. Audiopile of dung tinkly tonk tosh. In fact, I'd not be surprised if that "old man fashioning a kayak out of a log" in Wayne's World 2 wasn't being recorded onto superfi 2000 gsm vinyl that's an inch thick, just so some speaker company can get the nth resonation out of the axe blade, but only if you use their design.
What's wrong with Queen??
