teenage pregs.

The Swiss have been known to refuse what they consider to be "unusual" names.

In France, you cannot change your surname, even if it's Bâtard (no kidding, a genuine French surname). The only exception is "Hitler".

 

Gazz

I'm very sorry to hear about your son. Of course this is why we need a welfare state

i agree the disabled badge system is abused although i understand that these are harder to come by now than in recent years as the regulations regarding eligdibilty are being more strictly applied.

as i said before part of the cost of any welfare system is the cost incurred by the small amount of people who abuse it. Although it may be that the cost of those that do abuse it is at least partly outwieghed by those who don't claim the benefits to which they are entitled.

 

tones

i have great memories of staying Le Hotel des Bastards in Lector , it might have been condom but was certainly in Les Ges. I met a few expat anglais who liked to call it The Bastard.

on the french forename issue it occured to me that Mrs johnh's (she's french) first name comes from a french tv series circa 74 and that any other french women, with the same name , are likley to be born around the same time. This rather blows my proposition that there is a french book of allowed names out the water.

My thought probably orginated from the feeling that if ever there was a race who would have a book of names to pick from it would be the french.

sandrine by the way

 

Gazz - I'm not stupid; two of my mates from the blind school are in this condition. Of course there are a lot more out there too. And you're right in your assertion re the fraud across the board - means testing and regular rechecks are needed I feel.

How many people are out there claiming incapacibility benefit for "bad backs" for example? I bet some of them would be able to lift heavy items when moving house, for example.

Johnhunt - good to know you're on top of the MS at the mo; a partially sighted mate's GF has this and her's can be quite variable - it's not a nice thing to have by any stretch of the imagination!

 

Nice name - one of my more prolific inventors in our French R&D operation has the name.

P.S. Having had a look, it appears that the French have rules on forenames. Here's someone who took the issue very seriously - all the way to the European Court of Human Rights:

http://www.worldlii.org/eu/cases/ECHR/1996/48.html

 

Gazz
So your wife takes your son out in the car. parks in a disabled spot or uses the blue badge, gets out of the car to nip in a shop and gets a load of verbal abuse from someone like yourself who, despite being in the same situation, thinks the car driver should be the disabled one!!!
It beggars belief that you're coming out with this.

Bob

 

I was commenting on someone i know and i have never given anyone verbal abuse. obviously most disabled people cannot drive they would never be able to go out because of parking problems. Have you never seen a car full of fully fit people getting out of DLA car and use the blue badge when there is another car where the disabled person who is in the car can not get into space. What i am trying to say is the blue badge is abused, the dla cars are abused all by a minority of selflish people.

 

I never said you were stupid, and Apologise if you thought i said you were.

 

Yes they are harder to get now as there are more checks, I was going on about the people who abuse the DLA cars plus blue badge, i cannot say on here how i know, but if i ever meet you guys i will be able to tell you.

 

I didn't see it but apparantly this family were on GMPTE this morning, the mother actually let her 12 year old have sex in the house. She knew damn well what was going on.

But it wasn't her responsibility to teach them the facts of life, that was the schools

What is more depressing is how the **** does a 12 year old know how to do it?

 

The same was most 10 year olds do, did you not leave the house until 16?

 

When I was that age I was more interested in the SID chip in the Commodore 64 than sex. As for the the second question I virtualy didn't leave the house until I was 16. If I did I wasn't far away.

 

Oh dear!

 

I was a just a kid, its what kids should do, I used to ride my bike, try break speed records with it, I like learning about the universe etc. Sex was just somthing that just wasn't important.

I don't care you might laugh, but I didn't go round making people pregnant etc and I had a childhood.

 

Still enjoying it by the sound of it.

Bob

 

Yep well if it stops me becoming bitter and twisted its a good thing

 

john,
yes i'm a parent - a single one as it happens.
as for implimenting the system i suggested - i'm sure i outlined something earlier in this or another thread but here goes again.
1) cut standard child benefit by 1/2.
2) have free parenting classes which if attended and passed will increase the benefit given.
3) make sure the parenting classes are repeated every 5 years with different content relevant to the childs age.
4) the course must be completed and passed for each child in order for full benefits.
5) if a child misbehaves and a teacher / police officer is involved then part of the benefit is stopped until the parent is working in co-operating with the relevant agency to fix the problem.
6) increase full benefits to twice (or more) what they are now.

all in all a positive feedback system rather than a negative one.

hopefully this will educate and encourage good parenting and allow a parent to not be torn between a job and their kids.

the other thing i'd like to see is reform of the family court system - especially towards fathers and grandparents however that's another (although not entirely unrelated) subject.


anyway reading some of the later posts has led me to this moral dilemma question.
if your 12 year old was determined to have sex and there was no way you could talk them out of it, would you
1) ground them, only to have them sneak out of the house to have unprotected sex in the back of a car.
2) agree to let them have sex in the house on the condition that a condom is used.

cheers


julian

 

God lets hope none of us will be faced with that dilema.

I would do everything I can to talk them out of it and do everything in my power to make sure I am never in that position.

I think it would have to be 2 though I don't know. I just don't know how I can let a 12 year old have sex and know about it.

I could always make her have the snip, but then there are moral issues around that.

The question is actualy very very hard because either one of them is wrong. I probably would go towards the grounding becuase at least I have done somthing to try and stop it, but is that a selfish view point?

I have no idea, this is beyond me.

 

julian

i read your post with much interest. my reponses are in italics

.

julian - us parents should stick together , mine's 2 and nearly a half. your's?

as for implimenting the system i suggested - i'm sure i outlined something earlier in this or another thread but here goes again.

1) cut standard child benefit by 1/2.

julian -my view is that CB is too poultry for any 'cut' to have any behaviorable effect, besides which why on earth would anybody want to do it?2)

have free parenting classes which if attended and passed will increase the benefit given.

julian - too expensive to implement.control,monitor tec.

3) make sure the parenting classes are repeated every 5 years with different content relevant to the childs age.

J- ditto

4) the course must be completed and passed for each child in order for full benefits.

j- tempted just to say 'ditto' but what do think happens to the kids whose parents dpn't pass?5)

if a child misbehaves and a teacher / police officer is involved then part of the benefit is stopped until the parent is working in co-operating with the relevant agency to fix the problem.

j- so kids in trouble become poorer kids in trouble

6) increase full benefits to twice (or more) what they are now.

j-not sure what you mean here

all in all a positive feedback system rather than a negative one.

j- not really, an ilfounded and unworkable system

hopefully this will educate and encourage good parenting and allow a parent to not be torn between a job and their kids.

j- i think that your ideas would deprive those of help that need it most


the other thing i'd like to see is reform of the family court system - especially towards fathers and grandparents however that's another (although not entirely unrelated) subject.

j - agreed

anyway reading some of the later posts has led me to this moral dilemma question.
if your 12 year old was determined to have sex and there was no way you could talk them out of it, would you

1) ground them, only to have them sneak out of the house to have unprotected sex in the back of a car.

ask me in 10 years - ouch

2) agree to let them have sex in the house on the condition that a condom is used.

can't think about that right now
cheers


John in italics
__________________
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Life is but a dream.... shaboom.
My Kit
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john,
in the short term it would be expensive, of course, but how expensive is it compared to increased policing, legal and prison costs when all these 'ferral kids' start hitting the real legal system and then them having kids brought up badly too?
i forgot to add that a real sex education and parenting class should be added to the national curriculum in schools so hopefully the free classes would only be applicable to the current generation of parents - also if kids are taught how they should be treated by parents then hopefully they can become part of the solution too.
there seems to be a real lack of knowledge when it comes to how to deal with a child that misbehaves (and even one that is well behaved). i'm lucky my mother is a trained nursery nurse so i have someone to turn to when i experience problems and need advice but most aren;t so fortunate.

my daughter just turned 8 and is already starting to ask difficult questions - for example 'what does gay mean?' - she heard this in the playground - someone had used it as an insult to someone else. so it's already starting. i just ducked the issue and told her that she was too young for it to be explained properly and for her to ask again when she was 11. she's pretty sensible and accepted this but to be honest i partially feel that if she's old enough to ask she's old enough to know the answer.... but at 8?

to tie this in with my 'solution' in the other thread. being a parent is probably the hardest and most important job any of us do, it's not regulated and we recieve no training for it other than what we learn from OUR parents. regulation is anathema to any govornment (as most people react negatively to it instinctively). therfore it seems to me that education is the obvious answer. also it should be ongoing (with retests every 5 years which match the childs age) and tied into the benefits system as there are a lot of lazy parents who wouldn;t attend or attempt to pass otherwise.
cheers


julian